Conversations With My Son

Him: Mom, did you know Dunkin' Donuts has a new Munchkin flavor? [Ed. Note - I think it's just new to him]

Me: I did not.

Him: We had some in school yesterday. They're vanilla with sprinkles.

Me: Did you like them?

Him: Well, Ryan had four of them and didn't get sick of the sprinkles but I had two of them and got sick of the sprinkles. It's like we're on a whole different level.

Conversations With My Son

Me: Please don't blow spit bubbles.

Him: Why not?

Me: It's gross.

Him: But I only blow spit bubbles because I can't blow booger bubbles.

Me: (gags)

Conversations With My Son

Son: (walking into kitchen) I need help drawing a boat.
Me: I need help cleaning the kitchen.
Son: (turns around) I can draw a boat.

And a bonus classic "Conversation" from two years ago:

Son: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.
Me: Patience, young Padawan.
Son: (looking perplexed) I'm not a Padawan. I'm a Pada-three*!



(*He's five now, in case you were not aware.)

Conversations With My Son

My Son: Mom, who's Joe Biden?

Me: He is the man who will be the Vice-President in January.

Son: (exasperated) No, Mom, he's John McCain's father! (rolls eyes like he can't believe I didn't know that.)

Conversations With My Son

Scene: At restaurant. There is a family a few tables away with a toddler girl who has wandered over to the little old lady sitting at the table next to us. We can hear them talking.

Little Old Lady (to toddler girl): Why, aren't you the cutest thing I've ever seen? You are so cute! Do you know how cute you are?

My son: (to me): Mom, is that lady talking to me?

Me: No, sweetie. She's not.

Son: I think she's talking to me.

Me: Really? Why do you think so?

Son (shrugging shoulders): Because I'm the cutest kid in the whole wide world.

Current Self Esteem Status: High