Well, I'm not going to win, that much is obvious. And at the moment my goal of, "If I just make it to halfway I'll be happy" is also about 5k words and 12 hours away from being a reality. I would love to say I am proud to just have written more words then ever before and gotten as far as I have in the story, but I am not. I wasted many, many days that could have been productive. Like today, for instance. I spent the morning playing Heroes trivia on Facebook. I could have written a grand or so in that time. Then there was that weekend early in the month where, instead of writing, I read Harry Potter books one, three and most of four. (who the heck did I lend book two to???) I may have written 4,000 words in one day last Monday but I haven't even tried to be productive since then.
On the up-side, I will say I really believe in my story. Every once in a while I write a passage that I think is pretty awesome. And a lot of my hesitation at the beginning was, as a good friend pointed out to me, because deep, deep down, I didn't think I could really do it. Now I know I can write 20,000 words, and even do one or more chapters in one day, and actually like what I wrote. That is a huge hurdle to get over, confidence-wise. Now I just have to tackle the Wall of Discipline. In an earlier post I mentioned the challenge I helped develop called R1. We have decided to do something different this upcoming January. We will have an "Add 25k Words to Your Novel Month". It can be something you've been working on for a while, or something you have just begun to think about. No rules, no restrictions, no cool web badges or counter widgets; just a bunch of people writing at the same time, checking in with each other and giving encouragement. Then comes NaNoEdMo.... but I'll worry about that another day.
Maybe, just for shits and giggles, I will try to make it to 25k by midnight tonight. If I make it, I buy myself the shirt. Because then, to me, I'll have earned it. Um... gotta go!